It takes a nation of millions: A conversation between two hip-hop heads

Last night I had an alarming conversation with an emcee from back home.  We were chatting via text messaging, so the conversation didn't get too deep, but at the end of it all I realized that we are still being deprived of the truth.

Sometimes I forget how deep the problem is, then I am brought back to reality by incidents like this.

The full conversation is below.  I've edited it a bit for clarity and have added commentary (in italics) at the end of some of the text to explain my thought process further.  I welcome comments and suggestions on where do we go from here.  I'd especially like to hear from fathers of daughters and women or girls 21 and under.

Father of daughter: Ayo. Haven't heard from you nor seen a twit.  Why did you ask if I had a passport?

Me: You know brother I was so offended by the remark you made about that female emcee I had to reevaluate.  I was just curious about the passport because of where we are from.

Father of daughter: Sorry. I'm me, no holds barred. I say things.  Didn't mean to offend you.  I'm honest with myself though. I couldn't even tell you what I said.  If it was about Nina B, I love her as an artist and a person.  She knows that too! I'm not Gandhi yo!  Just a young man.

Me: But that's the point. You didn't speak about her being a dope emcee. You spoke on her body.  As a woman in hip hop our talent always gets downplayed by brothers in the community. Our talent plays second fiddle to our exteriors.  Then brothers play off their comments or justify them by saying "I'm real with mine," and think it's ok.  But it's not ok.  That's the thought process that keeps the culture stagnant.  Not saying you have to be Gandhi but think how fly it would have been if you had spoke on her interior and respected her by not commenting on her physical in such a public forum.  That would have been DOPE.  I would have been like, "Wow. He really IS a revolutionary brother."

Father of daughter: She's attractive. I'm not perfect.  I understand you though.  I don't see it being that serious.  Just don't.  I twit the first thing that comes into my head.  I don't twit to change the world or on some political stuff.  Just my means of saying what I feel.  I'm always twitting about women I see.

Me: Yeah that's part of the learned behavior we will need to break free of before we ever progress as a culture.  I understand exactly why you don't see it as that serious.  You aren't a woman or a woman in hip hop.  But I sincerely believe in unity between both brothers and sisters before we can erase what's been festering generation after generation in hip-hop culture.

We see you young brothers, caught in the hustle. Although you don't see it, just know that we love you.  You're young, strong and brave and you were born for the struggle.  Forgive us for our negligence. Know that we love you. - Amir Sulaiman, "Brother"

Father of daughter: Hey! I'm a 28 year old guy living my life and having a great time.  I'm no different from the next guy! Please don't place me there.  Yeah I feel I'm a good dude, but I put my pants on one leg at a time.  I work hard and I play hard.  I much rather play though.  I really place no emphasis on taking things too serious.  That's how you grow old and cold.  I have fun, let loose and say what I feel, regardless of the world watching.

I was most amazed by this comment because he doesn't realize that his objectification of the sister is not typical of every man.

Me: I'm not saying you shouldn't be you, but you asked why you hadn't heard from me so I answered you honestly.  I'm not saying you should change.  Be you.  But know those ARE the learned behaviors that keep women second class citizens.  Even in the so-called progressive cultures.

Father of daughter: Be cool yo.  The world is not that serious.  You'll give yourself a heart attack.  I raise my daughter as I raise my son.  Even her mom feels second to none.  I didn't degrade the woman.  I did say something like she was busty!  Did I tell her to wear a revealing shirt...no! Am I gonna look? I sure am. This world is what it is.  Change it and you get the golden ticket.  I stopped trying to save the world and started saving myself.  After I'm dead this shit will keep on.  People will be as they always have been and will do the same old shit.  As long as I take care of mines and my kids and can wake up every morning with a clear conscious.  I'm good.  Second class citizens...women! I can name more women with good jobs and MBAs than I can name men.  Revolutionaries? The same cats we look at in history books as revolutionaries died of drug overdoses, took government jobs or sold out in some other shape or form. The rest got killed or deported. I'm living.  Not all worried with the world's ills.  I just wanna make some money and feed my kids.  The rest is too much for me to worry about.

As I was reading this, I couldn't help but also hear, "She was wearing a short skirt.  She must have wanted it."  I also took for granted that by using the word "revolutionary" it would be taken as a adjective (def: involving or causing a complete or dramatic change) not a noun.

Me: Like I said do you.  The divine path I have been given by the creator IS to change the world for women and girls.  And the comments you just made make me say, "WOW there is much work to do."

I'd really love to give him a copy of "Very Young Girls" and "Beyond Beats and Rhymes".